Near West Syde Haps

Upon waking this morning we decided on breakfast at Nick's Diner. While enjoying our cuisine in walks a woman who could have been an ex patient (although she was not). She hovered over our table and exclaimed, "I won't eat your French Toast!" She then said to her male companion, "My husband is embarrassed of me and won't take me out." They sat down momentarily, she was then up talking on what appeared to be an out of service cell phone and shouted "Sell it, Sell it, Sell it all!!!!" She then walked over to a high top table and tried to show her phone to another patron who recommended she "Go use it outside," in an irritated tone. I laughed it off but my breakfast date was a little uneasy with this whole situation, which is understandable. It was at this point when the woman walked to the door and announced to the entire establishment, "I'm the richest woman in the world, I make $725 and I can dress you in clothes just like mine......from goodwill......SUCK MY TIT!!!" And then she made her exit, the joint filled with laughter. Note to the readers, her outfit was a black t-shirt, black shorts, black socks, black shoes, and a black fanny pack. Her male companion (whom I presume she just met and I'm not exactly sure what his intentions were but we can all imagine) stayed and finished his meal as if nothing had happened.

While driving into Tremont I finally caught a glimpse of the Abbey Market Midget. He was sporting khaki shorts that were almost to his ankles, so I'm not sure if he was trying to go for pants and they just didn't reach or in fact they really were shorts. He had a bright purple sleeveless t-shirt on as he scurried into the market. I smiled with glee, wondering to myself if he would be on the milk crates when I drove back to the OC, he was not.

Moments later I drive past a Ford Escape parked outside of St. Ignatius with the license plate DRJ. All this before noon, I'm not sure I can take much more.

Peace out,
MJ