National Coffee Day...

Nothing like loading a moving pod in wind and rain!! I'm on break now because it started to come down pretty heavy. I was stressed this morning upon waking, wondering if all my stuff is going to fit. It's like playing Tetris, you have to utilize all the nooks and crannies to efficiently pack it. I feel a littl less stressed as my house is becoming more empty and there is still room in the pod. Off to check to rain status/continue loading.

Also, I just read that it is National Coffee Day so all you java lovers get out there and get jittery!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck Cancer

I hate it & it scares this shit out of me. The big C, seems that everyone gets it. About two months ago a childhood friend of mine, Danielle, lost her battle to breast cancer, she was 32. I was friends with Dan, but better friends with her younger sister, Age. Today I found out that Age's husband died, of cancer. I don't know his exact age, but I'm guessing no more than 35. I am so saddened by both of these losses and struggle with the all too familiar question, why? WTF?? Two months apart? Damn. I'm at a loss for words.
MJ

Near West Syde Haps

Upon waking this morning we decided on breakfast at Nick's Diner. While enjoying our cuisine in walks a woman who could have been an ex patient (although she was not). She hovered over our table and exclaimed, "I won't eat your French Toast!" She then said to her male companion, "My husband is embarrassed of me and won't take me out." They sat down momentarily, she was then up talking on what appeared to be an out of service cell phone and shouted "Sell it, Sell it, Sell it all!!!!" She then walked over to a high top table and tried to show her phone to another patron who recommended she "Go use it outside," in an irritated tone. I laughed it off but my breakfast date was a little uneasy with this whole situation, which is understandable. It was at this point when the woman walked to the door and announced to the entire establishment, "I'm the richest woman in the world, I make $725 and I can dress you in clothes just like mine......from goodwill......SUCK MY TIT!!!" And then she made her exit, the joint filled with laughter. Note to the readers, her outfit was a black t-shirt, black shorts, black socks, black shoes, and a black fanny pack. Her male companion (whom I presume she just met and I'm not exactly sure what his intentions were but we can all imagine) stayed and finished his meal as if nothing had happened.

While driving into Tremont I finally caught a glimpse of the Abbey Market Midget. He was sporting khaki shorts that were almost to his ankles, so I'm not sure if he was trying to go for pants and they just didn't reach or in fact they really were shorts. He had a bright purple sleeveless t-shirt on as he scurried into the market. I smiled with glee, wondering to myself if he would be on the milk crates when I drove back to the OC, he was not.

Moments later I drive past a Ford Escape parked outside of St. Ignatius with the license plate DRJ. All this before noon, I'm not sure I can take much more.

Peace out,
MJ

Resignation

It has come my friends, I have resigned from my place of employment in which I've been much less than happy for a year. I gutted it out knowing I would be moving. Today is my first official day of resignation and I'm loving it. I woke up an hour ago (11:30am), which never happens. Now I'm sipping on some coffee and relaxing. I have an entire month ahead of me like this, and I couldn't be more satisfied. I had double the amount of paid time off that I thought so I'll essentially be getting paid to sit on my ass all month, even better. It delights the shit out of me to know that I fucked my employer in the ass by dropping the bomb of resignation two weeks ago, leaving one lone part-timer to do the job of 7 people. It also delights the shit out of me to know they get to foot the bill of my PTO in this time of financial crisis. Fuck you very much!

Other happenings, I accepted an offer on my house Saturday. Nothing like waiting until the 11th hour. I had 13 days left on my contract with the realtor and BAM an offer crosses the table, I counter, they accept. The housing inspection went down yesterday and to my knowledge there were no big issues but I will not be 100% until it is in writing sometime today. One more inspection after that and we should seal the deal. So let's hope all goes well.

In regards to the house selling after a year of being on the market with only 1 prior serious interest that my damn neighbor sabotaged, I say to myself, "this is fucking crazy, 13 days left on the contract, 2 days of work left, and 1 month to go before I push off to Oahu, amazing." Then I'm reminded.....

About a year ago my manager suggested I bury a St. Joseph statue in my yard. I chuckle this off and think nothing of it. She's what you'd call a believer. Fast forward to 2 months ago when we're having a telephone conversation and she inquires about the house. I tell her nothing has come and I've resigned to the idea of hiring a property manager. She again brings up the statue of St. Joseph and tells me if i don't buy one she'll get one for me. So I laugh it off again, and while wasting time at work (I've become very versed at this the last 2 months), I google "St. Joseph Real Estate" and I'm smothered with stories of success. So I have a conversation with Spamela about this and we agree that WTF, it can't hurt. So I google religious stores on the west side and find on on Lorain Rd next door to Demetri's diner. I show up one night after work and am completely out of my comfort zone in this place. The nice dumpy looking woman rushes to my assistance and when I inquire about the statue she replies with "oh the real estate statue." To my surprise there are kits sold of St. Joseph with the history of the burying as well as specific directions on what to do. I purchase it, take it home, and study the rules. I'm so non-religious that I had no clue that St. Joseph was Jesus' foster father, Mary's beau. It clicked once I put the names together, Mary & Joseph.

Long story even longer, I was off a few days over 4th of July weekend and did some yard work. I slipped St. Joseph in my pocket and once out in the yard proceded to bury him, according to the directions in the kit. I forgot all about this until Sunday night while watching The Wire. The episode in which one of the detectives goes to a Gypsy about an unsolved case. She gives him a statue to bury, the next day a different case of his is solved. I then start howling in laughter as I realize I buried St. Joseph about 7 weeks ago and got an offer. I took a picture of the statue and was going to publish it on the blog in the event that I got an offer, but then I thought, this is horse shit and deleted the pic. Now I wish I had the pic for all of you to see. Don't fret, the directions say to dig him up once the sale is finalized so I can publish a dirty St. Joseph in Sept if/when the buyer takes ownership.

I emailed my ex manager first thing Monday morning. Her response was "See, you never know." Good ol' St. Joseph pulled through in the final hours. Is this coincidence? Perhaps. Is this God trying to convert me to a believer? Perhaps. Is this one of the best things to happen this year? Absolutely.

Peace out,
Medusa Jones

I think I have a new hobby....

If you've not laughed yet today, check this out...
http://peopleofwalmart.com
Disclaimer: DO NOT LOOK AT WHILE EATING OR DRINKING****MAY CAUSE URINARY INCONTINENCE