"I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Little Bit"

Here are the highly anticipated photos from Saturday night. For those who were not present, it was a good time filled with many shots/beers & some HI-larious moments, including the title quote of this post!!!
The night started at Salexis' for a toast of Champaign and opening of some naughty gifts, one of which made it out with us. We then ambulated up to the Flying Fig for dinner, which was scrumptious, kudos Nasty Nate! At the Fig, J-Ho & Salexis overheard a cellphone conversation in the loo regarding, "Barb got tickets to Bob Seager, that bitch!" We were seated next to a large party of adults who thought it would be a good idea to bring along their 2 year old daughter, whom was running around the room and putting on a puppet show w/ a paperbag. Classic.
We then headed to the Mercury Lounge to catch a buzz before joining the cheese of W 6th and show everyone our well practiced dance moves. I'm glad to see that the above establishment was blantantly disregarding the new non-smoking law by distributing ash trays on every table & allowing people to smoke, despite the majority vote. Fuckers. Here is a shot of two individuals whoms names escape me at this moment, one is whipping the other with the party favor of the night. One can only imagine how much fun this little prop brought to us, especially as shots were thrown back.Pictured here is J-Ho and yet another nameless individual. I do apologize for not remembering names, however, it's probably better that way, seeing that I'm posting their pictures on the world wide web, and the fact that both of these women are lawyers.More shots from the Mercury Lounge. I remember this woman's name, however she does not have an appropriate blog pseudoname, therefore I will not display her true name for her own protection. And the guy, I don't remember his name, but I rode downtown with him, and he used to live next door to Taj.From this picture we moved on to the Velvet Dog for a shot, but it was dead, so we proceeded on to the Blind Pig. I'd like to comment that both of these establishments were also blantantly disobeying the smoking ban. I must admit that the smoking was far less, but still present. Fuckers. Salexis & J-Ho posed for a picture while on the dance floor the Blind Pig. I must also add that I now know why the word "Pig" is included in the title of this bar....more on that later.Of course this is the mighty Medusa J along with the J-Ho about to cut a rug on the dance floor. This is still early in the night, and I do believe that we were the only people on the dance floor. You can see the DJ booth in the back, where I was putting in mad requests & acquired digits & email addy of the mixologist. YIKES!!!!! Do not mess with Salexis when she has a whip in her hand! Again, this prop made for a very interesting night. Many an ass earned a spanking. Just like this guy pictured here. He kept begging to spank one of us "just once, gently, I promise." There was an extreme sense of power that overcame us in telling him "No." I may have led this guy to believe that my day job was that of a dominatrix. Little white lies will never hurt anyone.For some reason J-Ho did not want her face in this photo! Now back to the "Pig" portion of this post. This guy thought it was completely acceptable to grab a hold of each & every woman he passed on the dance floor and gyrate his uncoordinated pelvis into our asses. What is it about alcohol, loud music, and a hot dance floor that makes this seem like it's an okay thing to do? He was not the only one out there. Good thing we had the whip!Creeping up on intoxication at this point. Sporting yet another party favor of the night, the infamous red boa! I am still picking feathers out of my hair. I thought for sure the thing would be featherless by the end of the night the way it was shedding.These guys were hilarious. At first I thought they were foreign because of their choice of sweaters, then I heard them talk. Turns out they were just a bunch of Chachi's dressed in cheesey Christmas garb. I'm pretty sure they got their asses spanked at some point in the evening.Full-on drunkenness has overcome these two, who were serenading the overweight, quite malodorous cabbie whom had an oxygen tank riding shotgun. He told us a "dirty" joke that was quite corny. Something about a condom & an elephant, which required some spelling out of there's "no F in weigh." He yelled out to J-Ho that "There's always time to change your mind!!!" when he dropped us at the Angle.Two beers were ordered, but not consumed due to over-intoxification. So, they were donated to this cat, Chilly, whom I used to work with at one of the many establishments that employed me pre-professionalism. He's a good shit, and I always see him around.Last stop of the night, Salexis' for some penis cake. Very nice baking & decorating skills by one of the men pictured above. The cake itself was good, however the icing lacked in appeal to all four of us. Here the party wound down with some pounding of piano keys, shaking of the rain stick, drawing on the chalkboard wall, and a long distance call to Silk & Piddy. I can't believe J-Ho is getting hitched in less than two weeks. I am looking forward to having a blast at the Indo-American wedding & reception planned for the 30th!!!!!!

Peace out,
Medusa Jones