Monkey Business

Most of you know that I went to the zoo Thursday. It made me very sad to see the animals in cages and cubicles with nowhere to run and frolic, as they should. I'd venture to say that most of them were pissed off, like the panther, whom was pacing back and forth in his cage, and the polar bears that were doing the same. The gorillas showed their animosity toward us humans by keeping their backs to the glass, and occasionally charging the glass and banging on it. I wish I could have freed them all.

We did get to witness a few anatomy lessons, as well as some biological process' while there, which is always educational. One of the elephants decided to take a shit, which hit the ground with a loud "thud" followed by a large stream of urine, that sounded like and resembled a large hose. Below is a picture of one of the monkeys, and I apologize for not remembering his species. Now, this guy just sat in the back of the cage, like a pedophile, staring at us & the children, with a sad look in his eyes, as if he knew what he was doing was wrong, but couldn't stop. We referred to him as "Uncle Monkey" for the rest of the trip. Good thing the kids didn't realize what was going on here.

Rebirth Brass Band

These are pics from Wednesday's Rebirth show at the HOB. I must say, I had a damn good time. I had to take a picture of the left side of the stage, and the right side, because I was too close to get all of them together. I encourage anyone who has not had the opportunity to see these guys live, to do so the next time they come to town.





Ah, in this shot on the left, you can see the OC crew in full effect. Klassy Kate made it out, Salexis enjoying a drink and happy to be amongst friends, J-Ho w/ her back to the camera, and oh my, who is that slender Indian man behind Salexis? Could it be the infamous Taj? By golly, I think it is!!! How did he talk J-Ho into going out with her friends?



Okay, this picture to the right is HI-larious. I was trying to get a picture of Piddy & Silk, but this is what I got instead. As you can see, this guy REALLY liked the band. The lady in blue was also having herself a good ol' time. You can just see Silk's head above the lady in blue if you look real close. Piddy's elbow is just below blue lady's arm, the red/blue stripe. Love this shot.




Another great picture to the left. Now, this guy isn't your classic mullet, but he does have some killer ringlets accompanied by bangs. And no, this was not a wig. Silk observed this man during the show having a blast. I think he was a tad drunk, possibly off a nice large can or two of PBR. He was very pleasant, and complied with having his picture taken. He even shook my hand after I showed it to him. Kudos to you lady's hairdo man. Hope you enjoyed the show!!!!




This is the final shot of the night. As you can see, Piddy felt it necessary to make a face just as the picture was taken. We decided to hit up the Angle for some late night grub and some beers. Glad to have Salexis and Piddy back in the OC, I missed them both. Especially all of Salexis' quirks.

Peace out,
Medusa Jones

Happy 4/20

Okay, a few days of blog-worthy events have gone down. I'll start with yesterday. I spent nearly 5 hours digging up more hostas!!! At the start of digging, there was some "official" commotion next door. Movers, people in suits, then two bailiff's pull up. I haven't seen the tenants in a few months, so when I saw the coppers, I thought perhaps they were inside, dead. But no, they were just being evicted.

Long story short, the movers dumped all the shit on the treelawn, dipped, then began the Hispanic Swap Meet. The woman that lives downstairs came out (she speaks no English) w/ her two kids to greet a minivan. Out of the minivan pours about six children and three adults. The rummage begins. A truck w/ three men pulls up, loads the stove. A few minutes later another truck to take the washer/dryer. Then flocks of the neighbor hood stroll over and claim their stake. "One man's trash is another man's treasure" the old saying goes.

In the process of the swap meet, I managed to give away about 10 hostas to the gay crackhead w/ a shopping cart. He came to "shop" at the meet, but decided on the flowers instead. I'm not sure he had a home to put them, but hey, whatever man. The mailman also cordially took four bags, and freecycle claimed the rest.

TODAY:
Started off w/ a ride to Chagrin Falls w/ the hottie (although Saturday night I told him I couldn't handle dating a man w/ an African Village), followed by lunch. Very nice, no pressure, no speak of romance, just friendly conversation. We'll see if he's able to handle a platonic thing or not.

After lunch, I headed up to Talkies where I ran into Silk. We then took Rufus to the dog park for a little fetch/playing amongst other K-9's. While there, Silk was tossing balls to Rufus and was accosted by a man claiming that Silk had his dog's ball, and he was serious. He traded her balls and put his in his pocket, then drove off in an Audi. INSANE.

We dropped Rufus off, then made our way to Shaker Cycle (?in Tremont?) to meet the infamous Mitch. Let's just say after nearly two hours, I had to dash home to the dogs. He was freakin' HI-larious. Silk's bike was "done" when we got there, but then he had to change the tires, then the derailer, then he had to fix the gears, then he tried to attach a lock, then....it is probably still going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say, I'm not sure I want to take my bike to Mitch for some new tires. I might never get out of there.

Okay, home to walk my doggies. I'm taking my usual route, trying to avoid any dogs at all cost, due to Raja's disliking of particularly male dogs. We get to the lot we usually cross, and a puppy comes bolting at us, no leash. The people in front of the house are laughing, saying "aw, look at the puppy trying to play w/ the big dogs." You all know where this is going, right?

So, I say, "please get your puppy, my dog isn't good w/ other dogs." They continue to laugh, thinking it's so damn cute. Now Raja is lunging and diving at this little puppy, while attached to her leash, in which I'm holding. So we (I) try to avoid/ignore the puppy and cross the field, but it's not giving up. It decided to nose dive at us, and instigate w/ Raja. We try to turn around, go the other way, to no avail.

Raja is now foaming at the mouth, barking like a freak, Cody wants in on the action and both of my arms are being tugged in different directions. All the while the people on the porch laugh and say "aw, they're so cute" not realizing that I'm in distress and my dog is about to eat their fucking puppy.

So, I yell, "Get your fucking dog before this one kills it, and I'm not fucking kidding." Suddenly, the mood swings on their part, realizing that my dog is NOT playing, and they try to gain control of their puppy, but it continues to be cute and try to play.

Finally, they get control of their puppy and look at me like I'm the ass. So, I just turn around, go the way I came from and tell the hillbillies that were witnessing the events from their front porch that "this is the reason you keep your dog on a leash." They agree with me and reply, "Yep, ignorant people for ya."

So, those are my blog-worthy events of the last two days. It's now time for me to haul the 5, 30 gallon, yard bags to the treelawn for the garbage men to pick up tomorrow. Happy 4/20 y'all.

MedusaJ

Holy Hosta Random Ten Edition

Well, today I spent most of the day in the front flower bed digging up hostas. I gave a bag to the mailman, a box to Talkies M, a bag to the neighbors, and managed to FreeCycle four additional bags. I'll be back out first thing tomorrow morning to tackle the second front bed, then to the back. And speaking of backs, damn does mine hurt. If anyone has a hook-up on muscle relaxers, it would be greatly appreciated.

I also got to see my long lost J-Ho today. We hit up talkies for an iced drink and some Beck (of course). It was great to catch up and know that she still exists. I hope to do it again tomorrow.

1. Lucky Star - Madonna from The Immaculate Collection. An 80's delight to kick off the RT!!!! She's still got it.

2. For All My Niggaz - Dr. Dre from The Chronic. A classic hip-hop album, and this song features the Lady Of Rage, my idol. Wave your muthafuckin' hands in the air. Did somebody say chronic?

3. I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl - Nina Simone from The Tomato Collection (Disc 1). Love this woman's soulful sultry voice. Everyone should own this collection, a hands down classic in the jazz world.

4. Sister - Lenny Kravitz from Are You Gonna Go My Way. AH, this man is so f*ing hot!!!! A slow depressing track off this album. You can hear a lot of Hendrix influenced guitar throughout this song, especially the solo.

5. A Spoonful Weighs A Ton - The Flaming Lips from The Soft Bulleting. An odd psychedelic sounding ditty, with lots of noise, some screaming, and melodic tones mixed throughout. Pretty classic of the Lips.

6. Pink & Blue - Outkast from Love Below. I don't really like this song, too slow.

7. Am I Getting Through - Sheryl Crow from The Globe Sessions. I've always liked Sheryl Crow, I got to see her live w/ the Wallflowers back in the day. A great show. I dig this song, I like what she's saying, and the end is kick ass when she gets all rockin' and shit!! For those that didn't know, she is currently being treated for breast cancer at the young age of 44.

8. Dirt And Blood - Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra from Liberation Afrobeat Vol. 1. I love me some Afro-Cuban grooves. This is a great disc, I encourage all to check it out. It's mostly instrumental, with a few anti-war rants here and there. Good times.

9. Flava In Your Ear - Craig Mack from a mixed hip-hop disc complements of yours truly. Fuck yeah, I haven't heard this track in a LONG time. Much needed!!!! What ever happened to Craig Mack? Another classic hip-hop jam.

10. Dragonfly - Ziggy Marley from Dragonfly. I really like this song, it's all about the destruction mankind is causing to the earth. The best line is "Everybody's worried about time, but I just keep that shit off my mind" so true. This album helped get me through a really fucked up time in my life, and when I hear it, I am happy that I made it.

On that note, the random ten is done!!!! I'm so f*ing exhausted that I think I'm going to bed right now @ 9:11pm. Don't laugh, I have to get up and do this all over again tomorrow. I'd hire someone to do it for me, but the city stole all of my money. Fuckers.

Medusa Jones

Community Notice

Just an FYI to all the OC/Mont bloggers, Dari Delite is now open for business!!!!!

MedusaJ

In Memory Of J-Ho Random Ten Edition

Since J-Ho never returns my calls or emails, I thought I'd do a tribute RT in her memory. I don't mean to call you out on the blog J-Ho, but WTF man? This one's for you.

1. Crumblin' Down - John Mellencamp from Uh Huh. A classic 80's jam that reminds me of my youth in the great state of NJ. My mother used to play this 8-track all the time and we'd dance around the living room singing at the top of our lungs.

2. Canned Heat - Jamiriquai from a mixed disc I like to call The Dope Shit. I really like Jamiriquai, you can definitely tell that he was heavily influenced by Stevie Wonder. This particular song is a nice pick me up when I'm feeling down, makes me want to dance.

3. Give My Love To Rose - Johnny Cash from The Man Comes Around. What a somber ditty.

4. A Brighter Day - Mos Def - We Are Hip Hop * Me * You * Everybody (Disc 1). A shout out to Silk for lending me this 4-disc collection. This song has a sexy guitar rhythm played by Ronnie Jordan, a leader in the acid jazz movement.

5. I Want Some - The Beastie Boys from The Sounds Of Science (Disc 2). Hells yeah.

6. Be My Baby - ???? from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack. Classic song from a classic movie. Used to be one of my favorites.

7. She's Got Her Ticket - Tracy Chapman from her self-titled album. Good song, has a reggae feel to it. I really like the lyrics to this track, as well as most of her songs, moving, meaningful, musical. A great talent.

8. Oakland Stroke - Tower of Power from What Is Hip? I missed these guys at HOB last week, but I heard they were kick ass. A funky ass band from the 70's, this track is mostly instrumental, with what sounds like a Hammond B-3 organ in there somewhere.

9. Track 5 - Mark Farina from a mixed Farina disc I made/stole from Kazaa. Sorry that I have no song title/album on this one. This track an electronic deep house groove more so than his Mushroom Jazz stuff. I enjoy it.

10. Blue Light Red Light (Someone's There) - Harry Connick, Jr. from Blue Light Red Light. Oh Yeah!!! I'm so glad this track played, I haven't heard it in years, really. I love this entire album. I used to sneak it out of my sister's collection when we were in high school (she was scary back then) and jam out in my room with my headphones. Good times.

Okay, that's it for tonight. I'm baking cookies so I better go check on them.

Peace out,
MedusaJ

Another Aries....

I'd like to send out a Happy Burfday to Klassy Kate. Enjoy the show tonight!!!!!

MJ

Homeland Insecurity

This man, a civil servant, hired to protect the people of the United States of America, has been arrested for attempting to pick up a 14 year old girl on the internet. His lawyer hopes that a psychological test will prove that this man is not a danger to society, rather depressed that his brother & sister died. Okay, depressed at the loss of your siblings I get, but there are better ways to cope with your grief. I don't know, say, perhaps hang out getting wasted in titty bars for a while, find a prostitute of legal age and pay her to bang you? These are the people running our country. SHAME!!!!!!

FYI

Just in case no one figured it out from my blog yesterday, there will be no belated Aries Crackshack Festival featuring Carlos Jones. My deepest sympathy to those who were anticipating it. My apologies to Salexis, whom I'm sure has been fired up thinking about her return/party. There will also be no vacation for yours truly, nor will the Crackshack be getting a new roof, oh, and all those plans I had for landscaping, not gonna happen, no laptop, and one more thing, no motorcycle. Fuck you govie.

MJ

PS-I can offer a kick-off to summer/belated Aries party Crackshack festival not featuring Carlos Jones, won't be as tight, but holds the potential for some fun. All musicians welcome, free form jam session.

KFKD

Yes bloggers, you've just tuned into KFKD (pronounced FUCKED) here on the West Five Two blogstation. I got my tax forms back anticipating a nice chunk back, but instead I get fucked in the ass by Uncle Sam. It seems that I owe the city of Cleve over $750.00, yes, that's seven-HUNDRED-and fifty (actually a little more), the Feds claim that I owe them $250.00, yes, that's two-HUNDRED-and fity (52 to be exact), and the state of Ohio has so graciously decided to return a whopping $82.00 to my bank account.

Now, for those of you who don't know, I work 3 jobs, yes THREE jobs, including weekends. My patients/clients consist of children w/ multiple handicaps, elderly individuals with varying/multiple diagnosis, and adult individuals whom are mentally ill. Now, almost none, yes NONE, of these clients/patients can afford to pay for my services, yet I got to work everyday, for three different NON-PROFIT organizations to make this a better society for all of us to enjoy. For what?

On top of working my ASS off, I am a homeowner at the ripe old age of 27 (actually made the purchase at 25) and I am single, with two dogs (more one them later). Now, all of the taxes/interest I've paid on my house, my car, my gasoline, my groceries, my clothing, etc. that I've purchased, all in this fucking city is apparently not enough for those greedy bastards, no they want MORE.

They want more because apparently when you don't work in the city, they feel they are entitled to 1% of the taxes you've paid to the other city(s) that you work in. So, I work in about 6 different cities, 3 of which I will refer to as my "home base" because I'm there the most. Two of those cities deduct 2.0% of my pay, and one deducts 2.25%, so Cleveland feels it's their right to have 1.0% of what I've paid out to these other cities, therefore penalizing me for not working in the land of Cleve. This I feel is total and complete BULLSHIT, and I will begin my hunt for jobs in Canada and/or Mexico very shortly. FUCK THE U.S. of A. is all I gotta say.

In other news, I read that the average salary for a professional baseball player is $3 million dollars. Now, "average" meaning some of these men make a hell of a lot more, to play a fucking game. I also read that Eminem and Kim have divorced AGAIN after just 82 days of marriage. Way to give it your all, what the fuck was the point of that?

Now, more on the dogs. Upon entering my home after having a near fatal cerebrovascular attack at the tax place, I am greeted by my two loving bitches. I let them outside as usual, they came back in and got a treat. I did notice that both treats fell onto the floor, but thought nothing of it. I walked to the pantry to get a handful of my trusty walnuts, when all I hear behind me are these horrible hissing/growling/snarling sounds coming from the bitches.

I can't turn around quick enough, they're already into, as if Sunday night just wasn't enough for them. I start to yell, "NO, NO, STOP" and they are just having at it like two wild bitches, round and round. This went on for what felt like 10 minutes, but may have only been 3, but it was plenty long enough for my liking. I grabbed my $19.99 Ikea chair to try to split them up (tip: NEVER touch dogs while they're fighting).

So, I'm trying to put the chair between the two of them, all the while screaming at both of them, while they trade ugly growls and high pitches noises at each other. I try in vain to separate the two of them w/ the chair. Finally I get them apart, poor Raja is pinned under the chair and Cody just won't fucking give up. Cody procedes to tug at Raja's neck and ears, pulling the skin/fur with all her might. I kept yelling "NO" and trying to use the chair to my advantage. I can tell Raja is hurting at this point.

So, I start to cry and scream "please just fukcing stop right now" because all I could think of was that Cody was going to kill Raja, causing me to put Cody to sleep, leaving me broken hearted and dogless. No, I couldn't let that happen, I'm a good dog owner.

Somehow I get Cody off of Raja, open the backdoor and shove Cody onto the porch using the trusty Ikea chair (which is now covered in saliva). I turn around and Raja is gone, blood is on the walls/floor. I run into my living room hysterical and there lays my little big one, with the saddest eyes I've ever looked into. It turns out that she is okay, just a little cut on each ear, and an enormously bruised ego.

Meanwhile, Cody is cooling off on the back porch, so I go out there and scold her little ass, then let her outside to get some air. Raja also follows out for some air. It appears that this scuffle literally scared the shit out of both of them, because they shit twice while outside. Upon re-enty into the West Five Two, Cody begins to lick Raja's wounds, as if to say she's sorry.

What a fucking day.

Medusa J

Random Bloggage

It's Monday, 6:37pm West Five Two time, and I have successfully done not a god damn thing today. Okay, not true, I finally took my tax forms in to be processed, and had lunch at Nick's, and spent the rest of the day reading (mind you I rolled out of bed at 12noon when the church bells woke me).

Game night was fun, British Ed, Vanilla Soy Latte, Talkies-M, Silk, and Klassy Kate participated in a two hour game of Cranium Turbo. We decided on boys versus girls and we were kicking some major ass until Talkies-M arrived to help the fellas out, and to inform us that we were not following the rules, hence the domination. Cody & Raja decided to spice up the night with a little full body contact, resulting in a migration of the game to the dining room, coupled with the loss of either a tooth or growth, perhaps both, from Raja's mouth. Not to worry, the vet claims these gum growths in Boxers are very "normal" so I'm glad it's been removed, even if not in the manner I would have liked.

Post-Cranium Jenny J showed up to fill us in on her Chippendale experience. Seems that the highlight of the evening was when the male strippers decided on a trend, which was picking up a rather large woman, somewhere in the 300's and allowing her to straddle them while gyrating. WOW, good for the show, bad for the back.

This discussion somehow led into a discussion about all the homeless crazies of the OC that constantly badger us for money while we are out and about. Greazy face, Shim a.k.a. Loose Cock Whore, Fucked up hand dude, The judge's wife, and the list goes on and on. Watch ur back, pack ur gat.

I have just finished my dinner, which consisted of a handful of walnuts and a creamscicle float. Yum, gotta love the single woman's diet. I read today that airlines are going to start charging for pillows and blankets, WTF? I'm bringin' my own from now on, and no I won't pack it in my carry-on bitches.

Okay, this has been enough random blogging for me. I think I'll migrate back to the couch and continue reading.

Peace out,
Medusa J

Daylight Savings Random Ten Edition

I thought I was up early this morning, ready to conquer the world, turns out I forgot to set my clock forward. So, here is an RT before I get moving.


1. Gone Daddy Gone - Violent Femmes from self-titled album. A simple Alt-Rock ditty that I most enjoy.

2. Open Mic - Liquid Soul from a mixed Liquid Soul disc I stole from Kazaa. This is a kick ass open mic freestyle/jam session from one of my favorite bands. I wish I could spit-box. I'm just not quick enough w/ my words, perhaps Silk-e could pull it off, being a Scrabble prodigy and all.

3. Different People - No Doubt from Tragic Kingdom. This song brings back some highschool memories. I played the shit out of this album back in the day, a nice nostalgic moment in the RT.

4. Dos Gardenias - Buena Vista Social Club from self-titled album. Some authentic Cuban rhythms for that ass. I have no idea what this guy is singing about, but I like it. I'm guessing it's a romantic ballad of sorts.

5. Reach Out I'll Be There - The Four Tops from Motown The Classic Years (Disc 2). Who doesn't love this song? These guys got together in highschool and spent over 4 decades together without one single band/member change. That's longevity!!!!

6. Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson from In Between Dreams. I love Jack Johnson, his lyrics are simple yet meaningful, and his music is so much fun.

7. Punk - Gorillaz from self-titled album. This is a first on the RT, thanks to Silk.

8. The Word Is Love - Voices Of Life from The House Connection. A quick house jam that gets your blood moving.

9. I Don't Know - The Beastie Boys from Hello Nasty. You all know I love the BBoys!!

10. Sweet Justice - Jill Scott from Live Disc 2. Another favorite artist of mine!!

That's it for the RT, time to get out and enjoy the spring weather.

Peace out,
Medusa J